Sunday, August 14, 2011

I wrote a poem for my girlfriend? Is it any good?

My favorite lines are: "Standing on my own feet, I will carry you in my arms Down this long, empty street Till I give out from underneath." I actually think those are the strongest lines in the poem because I can visualize that the best, and the rhymes of "feet," "street," and "underneath" (as a slant or half rhyme) give that more of an organized feeling. Would you consider doing a rewrite starting out with those lines? Or if you gave the poem to the person already, maybe just do your next poem with that in mind. Nice start.

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